Thanksgiving is often pictured as a joyful time when extended family comes together to share a meal and celebrate gratitude. For many families of children with autism, however, the day can also bring unique challenges. Large gatherings often mean new environments, unfamiliar foods, changes in routine, and lots of noise. While these celebrations can feel overwhelming, they can also become meaningful experiences with the right preparation and support.
With thoughtful planning, caregivers can set their child up for success, communicate expectations to extended family, and create traditions that honor both the holiday and the needs of their child.
Preparing Your Child Before the Big Day
Preparation is one of the most important tools for helping children navigate large gatherings. The weeks leading up to Thanksgiving provide opportunities to introduce the idea of the holiday gradually.
- Use visuals or social stories. Show your child pictures of what Thanksgiving might look like—family members arriving, a table set with food, and people talking together. A story that explains each step helps reduce anxiety.
- Practice routines. Role-play elements of the day at home. Practice greeting relatives, trying a new food, or sitting at the table for a short period.
- Talk about the plan. Children feel more comfortable when they know what to expect. Share the order of the day—arriving, eating, playing, and leaving—so the transitions don’t feel abrupt.
Managing Sensory Overwhelm
Holiday gatherings can be full of sensory input: the smell of new foods, clattering dishes, loud conversations, and even unfamiliar decorations. For children with autism, this stimulation can be intense.
- Create a quiet space. Identify a room or area where your child can go if they need a break. Bring familiar comfort items such as noise-canceling headphones, a weighted blanket, or favorite toys.
- Pack a sensory kit. Small items like fidgets, chewable jewelry, or visual timers can provide regulation tools.
- Plan for transitions. Give gentle warnings before moving from one activity to another: “In five minutes, we’re going to the table.” Predictability helps children feel in control.
Maintaining Important Routines
While Thanksgiving may be different from a regular day, keeping certain routines intact can help children feel grounded.
- Stick to meal and snack times. Even if the holiday meal is later than usual, bring familiar snacks so your child doesn’t become hungry and irritable.
- Honor bedtime. As much as possible, follow regular sleep routines. If bedtime will be later, build in calming downtime before leaving the gathering.
- Bring familiar foods. If your child is selective about what they eat, pack a few favorite options. They don’t need to eat the traditional menu to participate in the celebration.
Communicating with Extended Family
One of the biggest challenges during holidays can be explaining your child’s needs to relatives who may not fully understand autism. Setting expectations ahead of time helps everyone feel prepared.
- Share your plan. Let family members know that your child may need breaks or won’t eat certain foods. Clear communication prevents misunderstandings.
- Offer education. Use simple language: “Sometimes loud rooms make him feel overwhelmed, so he might take a break in another room.” This helps relatives understand without judgment.
- Ask for support. Assigning a specific activity, like helping your child with a craft or game, gives relatives a positive way to connect.
Creating Inclusive Traditions
Thanksgiving doesn’t have to look the same for every family. Small adaptations can make the day enjoyable and memorable.
- Keep gatherings shorter. Even attending for an hour can be a success.
- Add sensory-friendly activities. Crafts, outdoor walks, or quiet games can be alternatives to constant conversation.
- Celebrate progress. Whether your child tries a new food, stays at the table for a few minutes, or simply greets a relative, celebrate the achievement.
Encouragement for Caregivers
It’s easy to feel pressure during the holidays. Many caregivers worry about how their child will behave or whether relatives will understand. Remember that Thanksgiving is about gratitude and connection, not perfection.
Your child doesn’t need to sit at the table for the whole meal or eat everything on the plate to be included. What matters most is that they feel supported, safe, and loved. By preparing in advance, maintaining key routines, and communicating openly with extended family, caregivers can help their child build confidence in a setting that once felt overwhelming.
Over time, these gatherings can become opportunities to practice social skills, explore new experiences, and create memories. With patience and flexibility, Thanksgiving can be both inclusive and joyful—reminding everyone at the table what it truly means to be grateful for family.